Tuesday, May 11, 2010


 *first of all, sorry for my bad English*

Hmm...you know, I feel tonight is different. I swear, I don't do anything certain. Right now I'm just Tweeting, listening to music, and watching tennis on TV. But, to me, tonight is very, very special.

Because of Google.


Well, I Googled some nice articles, and they were really, really touching. Too touching. I didn't cry, but my heart was melted.

Then I realized what I've done at the age of 14. Yes, I will be 15 in just few days, on May 25 for exact. But before I leave this age, I want to know about things I have done.

A lot of things happen when I'm 14. I celebrated my 14th birthday just a day before I got released from hospital. For my birthday I got a lot of lovely presents. From my family, my friends...and I still keep them.

And I've been more mature than before. I understand and realize things I didn't before. Many things, good things, bad things. As a teenager of course I'm still looking for an identity, but I start to find parts from it at this age. Good parts, bad parts.

I also start to find out what I want, who I am, where I want to be. The answers are on my mind, I keep them private.

A lot of surprising things happen. Once I asked God, "Why me?" because of those things. He gave me the answer days, or weeks later. I found it after watching the Australian Open final (yes, I'm not joking).

I know He wants me to be a fighter. I've always idolized fighters (for example: Justine Henin), because to be strong and fighting is one of the hardest things to do. All of those things will make me stronger than ever, if I believe they will. And I do. I'm stronger now. When a lot of girls cry over things like boyfriends and others, I keep standing proudly and think about a lot more important things. A boyfriend I'd love to have, but not now. Maybe when I'm older. Now I have a lot of things to think about, a lot more important things. I'm not saying that the other girls are weak or I'm much stronger than them, but well...I'm quite different. And I love it, I love to be different.

Now I'm in progress to be a real fighter. I enjoy my days, not thinking about something silly, and not easy to give up. If bad things happen, I'll fight and find out that God has some plans behind. Still, I cry sometimes, but it's normal for a human being, you know. I cry, but only over things I think are important. I even laugh, sometimes, to prove that there is always a comedy behind every tragedy. In crucial situation, I never lose my sense of humor. Why do I have to cry when I can laugh?

I know God will grant my prays, to be a strong person. Life is full of things, good things, bad things. And one of the ways to face it, is to be strong. We've seen a lot of successful people suffered from a lot of things in their pasts. But they made it into success, because they are strong.

I write this sentence on my heart, on my mind, on my life, on my steps: "I have to be strong."

Ok, enough with those words. Adios!

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